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Judas H Priest - Revised Version of U.S. Constitution Found In DC Cave - The Dead Potomac River Scrolls

At Washington D.C. news conference, held at the Offices of the Center for American Progress, archeologists working for the Smithsonian Institution have announced an incredible discovery, a revised copy of the U.S Constitution dated 1790. This document was passed by the original 13 States with the intention of supplanting the version ratified in 1788. The Chief Archeologist on the project called the document “the Dead Potomac River Scrolls,” because they were found in a previously unknown cave on the bank of the Potomac.

Some times I just have to wonder...

[...] It is quite amazing the way these Progressenes were able to see into the future.

Beyond the prophetic articles and preamble, included in this revised constitution was a document called “The Bill of Other Rights Which Corrects the Original Constitutions Wrongs,” these included:

  • There is not only a freedom of religion but a freedom from religion
  • The right to health care unless you are a senior (sorry grandma)
  • We were only kidding about the right to bear arms
  • There is a right of Unions to be bailed out even if the government has to take over the entire automotive industry
  • The right to high speed internet is guaranteed
  • The government has the right to control free speech on the internet and talk radio
  • There us a  right to come into the country illegally as long as you promise to support the Progressenes
  • The President has the right to play golf during a crisis, especially if petroleum is involved
  • The government has the right to redistribute income
  • There is a  right to be a terrorist or to hate the United States as long as you work with a future president

Some skeptics will tell you that this document is an obvious forgery, I can even see CPAC Blogger of the year, Ed Morrissey use this story as part of his daily Obamateurism of the Day feature. But anybody doubting the pedigree of this document is obviously taking a bipartisan effort and trying to interject partisanship.

For proof of its validity, just look at the fact that this document has already been endorsed by the administration. This is the administration that told us Joe Sestak wasn’t offered a job, there were no earmarks in the stimulus bill, Obamacare would reduce the deficit, and there would be absolutely no new taxes on anyone making less than $250,000 a year,  why should we stop believing them now? [...]

Kind of crazy, right?

The Snooper Report.
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Sic vis pacem para bellum
Fight Accordingly

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Reader Comments (2)

Very funny. I can imagine some leftist SFB will believe this to be da trut. Yeah so I don't know ebonics very well...bite me.
July 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNo.9
The libtards will believe anything because they have no braims.
July 12, 2010 | Registered CommenterMark "Snooper" Harvey
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